Have you ever heard the saying “What you focus on is what you get?” It means if you are feeling sad or disappointed and you keep talking about this, thinking about this, then that is how you will feel. You will have encounters with others who will agree or sympathise with you or both. Yet if you are feeling happy, you radiate, you bring happiness to others. People will feel your energy and want to be with you. Again, what you focus on is what you get. I found the following saying:
You cannot escape the results of your thoughts.
Whatever your present environment may be,
you will fall, remain or rise with
your thoughts, your vision, your ideal.
You will become as small
as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
I wish I knew who said that. Isn’t it wonderful? What do you think of it? Is it true for you? What do you want to happen in your life?
Now back to the saying “what you focus on is what you get.” Try an experiment for me just to see what you think. Pick an area, any area of your life and start focusing on that. It is best if you use a generalisation. Some examples:
- Most people I know exercise – and start looking at all the people you know who exercise.
- My partner helps out around the house – and start watching for when they help out around the house.
- Every weekend, I get time to do something that I really enjoy – and take note of what little things happen on the weekend that you enjoy.
- I have fantastic friends who really care – and take note of the small actions and things your friends do for you.
These are just some small examples, which you may have noticed, I only used positive examples. All of these could be switched to a negative but that would mean we are focusing on the negatives and that will make us feel not so good.
Many years ago, I was working full time [I did get one day off a month] and felt that I was the only mum in the whole school who worked full time. All I saw was mums who were always there to pick up their children. Then I went to work part time and that is when I realised I was not the only mum who worked full time, who wasn’t there to always pick up her children, there are loads of mums who are all juggling as much as me. It was what I was focusing on, and it was negative and it dragged me down.
I have really learnt the power of what you focus on is what you get. Another personal example was that I felt my husband wasn’t helping enough at home on evenings. Then I decided to shift my focus and decided that every time he helped I would say “thank you”. Now I had good reasons for this and that was I was trying to use positive reinforcement. That old tactic you use with children to get them to do things, I figured I would try it with my husband.
So every time he helped I said, “thank you”. Now what I realised was how many small little things he did without me asking. Perhaps my frustration had been that he wasn’t doing what I would like him to be doing at that moment, but he was doing things. This changed my attitude and we are a great team now that work really well together. That was my aim and focus, and it has happened.
Too often, we focus and think about what we don’t have or what we would want. Take time to focus on what you have and be grateful for it and then think about what you want and dedicate your thoughts and focus to that. It will happen. What you focus on is what you get, so what do you want? Start seeing it, hearing it, feeling it, and believing it.